Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Sliver of a TEASE...

So, this might just be the last tease from A SLIVER OF HOPE. I'm running dangerously close to spoiler territory. But, you will be glad to know that this sad little tale is finished (well, first draft anyhow) and has been thrown at my lovely beta. Anyone interested in joining Liz in being a big meanie...er beta, please let me know. I welcome all opinions! :)

Here you go!

I trudged toward the cafeteria as if I was walking toward a firing squad. Well, I guess I kind of was. Normally, we sat in the center of a mish-mashed group. Your friends—the jocks, the cheerleaders, the A-listers—all crammed in with mine—the band geeks, the stoners, the losers. Now, I didn’t know where to go. I was lost, floundering in a sea of confusion.

Where did I belong now that you weren’t with me?

I turned around, intending to just leave…go hide out in the library or even the bathroom until the lunch period was over. And smacked right into the one person I’d hoped never to see again.

“Hannah!” Mike gasped, his hands closing over my arms to steady me. His green eyes were shadowed and bloodshot, attesting to long hours spent grieving for a girl he’d never really cared about. “Hannah, I’m so glad I caught up with you. Julian said he saw you and—“

I jerked away from him with a cold, menacing glare. “Don’t touch me! Don’t even talk to me.” I hissed.

Tears sprang up instantly. “I loved her.” He whispered, and he almost sounded like he meant it.

A bitter laugh gurgled up and spewed forth. “Yeah right, Mike. You loved her.” I sneered in a mean little voice. “You loved her so much that you were fucking everything that moved while you were with her. You loved her that much. Don’t even try to deny it.” I cut him off when he looked like he was going to argue the point. “She told me everything. Didn’t expect that, did you? Yeah, she told me all about you and that skank. And, now, you’re going to stand there crying your crocodile tears, trying to tell me how much you loved her? Do you think I’m some kind of an idiot? I’m not going to forgive you for what you did to her. It’s your fault, you son of a bitch. You killed her!”

I didn’t wait for him to respond. I couldn’t. I turned on my heel and ran…ran as fast as I could right out of the cafeteria, out of the school, and I kept running until I was at our front door.

So much for my promise to make it through the day without having an emotional breakdown. Well, you know what they say about good intentions. The road to Hell is paved with them. Too bad I’m already there.


  1. Oohh burn. I love her dialogue here, the emotions are so clear. And I almost feel bad for Mike too. :/

  2. You do know that I've been crying while beta'ing this, and now again. Sigh. Whyy do you do this to me?
    I so love this though, the emotions are just so saturated, so intense.

  3. This is emotionally heavy, so sad. Great job. I would love to know what happened and have a clue. Nice snip!

  4. Awesome snip--I'm totally there with her when she just snaps and takes her heartbreak out on the boyfriend. This is just so emotionally-charged and intense. Love.

  5. I loved this, and I feel so bad for your MC. This is one of your best teasers, EVER! I like it when characters confront each other in books.

  6. Man, so much pain and suffering going on with your MC. I feel sorry for her. I hope she can find it in her heart to forgive her twin and get through this sadness :(

  7. So much emotion in this! Love the dialogue; I think confrontations are so hard to write, but you pulled it off beautifully.

  8. Wow, this is powerful. I love the way the setting draws the reader into the emotional situation.

  9. Wow, the emotions here are SO good! I love this WIP! Dialogue is amazing. <3

  10. Thanks for the taste! You've piqued my appetite. :)


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